On Christmas Eve itself, the bachelor Harley Jackson stepped into his barn and beheld there illuminated in the straw a smallish newborn bull calf upon whose flank was borne the very image of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
"Well," said Harley, "that's trouble."
You've heard of people seeing the image of Jesus in a tortilla or a screen door, right? And you've heard the hub-bub that ensued, right? Well, so had Harley Jackson. So, when he saw the the image on the hide of his calf, the only things that ran through his mind were how he could hide him or get rid of him. This confirmed bachelor slash sort-of farmer didn't need to deal with throngs of religious pilgrims trampling his land in the small town of Swivel, Wisconsin.
Fast forward a couple weeks and a new love interest threatening that confirmed bachelor status. Harley wakes up to a commotion, the calf wandering around alone outside of the barn, and a swift realization that his life is never going to be quite the same again.